Am I gay if I find other women attractive?

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Hi Everyone,

This subject, for most people, tends to induce weird looks, obvious lies or just the plain you are a “freak” statement. The fact is, almost every female, at one time or other, have thought about or wanted to experiment with another female. This conversation has been the staple of many a social setting, inducing sheer excitement for the typical male. Which leads me to divulge the latest saga of my life.

Recently I have found that women have been hitting on me a lot more than usual. Usually it would be the knowing looks, the occasional wink or the blatant uncrossing of the legs to ensure that peek. Either way I enjoyed the flirting for what it’s worth, many times getting really excited, but knowing when to walk away or project my thoughts elsewhere.

Anyway, the female attention is becoming more frequent these days, even though I am not doing anything different than what I have done before in terms of attire and liming spots. My thing is I seem to be anticipating it now more than usual, and get really disappointed if it doesn’t happen. I must make it clear I do love men in every sense of the word and have no intention of having a relationship with a woman. But how do I explain the excitement I get when a particular female friend of mine hug, tends to linger longer than normal, or that random stranger with the stilettos and the little black dress, at my favorite watering hole, ignoring her date and staring at me?

I have found myself putting this mental journey into phases: Phase one (1) has been the awareness and appeal of someone sharing similar gender. Phase two (2): the realization that I am very comfortable with my thoughts and feelings. Phase three has simply been reserved as the action phase, the moment when the many thoughts, fantasies, excitement transform into actual physical confirmations.

Do I dare anger the gods? Would such a move taint my innocence in the eyes of the lord? Should I be ashamed of a natural feeling? I know I am going to get a lot of flack from my spiritual sisters and brothers, but according to Murphy’s Law; those who are most moral are furthest away from the problem. I won’t allow my morals to be judged by others, show me a person without sin and I will show you a day old new born.

Many females, young and the mature, reading this will most definitely identify, to them I say; society has it’s way of dictating what is better for you. Personally I don’t conform to the norm, because the right moment, the right person is out there somewhere for my first female experience and with all my heart I will welcome it. So to all my sisters out there who have been fighting with this taboo, in my opinion let nature decide.

All opinions are welcome.

Want to share your personal experience with me but not strong enough to publicize it? Then email it to me @ private and we will talk about it.


scru·ple (skroopel)
n.
1. An uneasy feeling arising from conscience or principle that tends to hinder action.

That's why you don't accept free drinks from men you are not interested in.

Hi Everyone,

My girlfriends and I hang out a lot, and most times we get offered drinks by men we know we are not interested in but accept anyway only to be hounded later for conversations or a dance. To say the least, this really does make me uncomfortable, but sometimes I just feel sorry for the poor guy and I accept.

Recently, I wound up in such a case but this time, it was much different than usual because the guy wasn’t a random guy but a co-worker’s husband. My girlfriends and I went to our usual mid town watering hole to chit chat and catch up on the daily buzz, when in walked my co-worker’s husband and a few of his guy friends. At first I pretended as if I didn’t notice his entrance, hoping I would have been ignored. Of course you don’t usually get what you wish for, and so, he came over and started talking to us. I have known for sometime that he was attracted to me and had done everything in my power to discourage it, not that he wasn’t cute … just that I had an idea of what was going on at home. Anyway, we ended up spending hours talking and at the end of the evening he offered to pick up the check for dinner and drinks and against my better judgment, I agreed.

Bad idea; the next day at work I received flowers. Shocked as I was, my heart sank further when his wife my co-worker complimented me on the bouquet. Needless to say I wanted to say its “from your damn husband”, but since she was always boasting how much a great relationship they had, I decided to just deal with feeling like a skunk inside. Again, I made the mistake of not returning the flowers (O come on I am single girl in a office filled with affluent cougars, so yes I am enjoying my bouquet) and discouraging this man who I had no intention of sleeping with. I told myself: “ok the next time I see him, I will just set the record straight”.

Weeks passed before I ran into him again and spent approximately fifteen (15) minutes telling him how I felt, ending with him nodding in agreement. A few days went by and I had gotten over my “skunkiness”, it was a slow day so I was zoning off into wonderland when I heard “Jenny, fed-ex package for you”.
“Package for me?” I asked myself, “Did I forget that I ordered something?”… I nearly died when I saw the watch complete with gift receipt. Now at this point, I was loosing my mind. My first instinct was to find the fed-ex guy and mark return to sender or not accepting.

The fed-ex truck had already left so I ended up walking around with the package for a week before running into him again. Needless to say I was furious and nothing he could say would calm me down. Well, except the threat of him telling his wife that I had came on to him and he didn’t know how to handle it. That threat squeezed the air out of my anger, there was no way I wanted him to do that especially the way I acted when I got the flowers, like the man of my dreams sent them. So I calmed down and politely tried to convince him that we could be friends and that is the only thing I could offer. Well he knew he had me right where he wanted and wouldn’t accept the friend deal but of course, I still have no intention of sleeping with him.

So for the past couple months I have to be dodging advances all the time being coy, praying he doesn’t get pissed off and tell his wife. I know he could be bluffing but for now, even though it’s hard work dodging his advances, it’s better than being the office slut. I am now between a rock and a hard place and found myself there because I accepted some free drinks.

Any opinions on what I should do.

scru·ple (skroopel)
n.
1. An uneasy feeling arising from conscience or principle that tends to hinder action.